A friend once told me that she feels most beautiful when she comes back to her car after a trail run and first sees herself in the mirror. It has stuck with me ever since. Her noticing helped me observe my own experiences. I feel the same way.
The feeling usually comes after a good 2-5 hours submerged in nature - somehow, anyhow. And when I am sitting in the driver's seat of my car or am getting in the shower - it’s hard not to smile at myself in the mirror and say: “therrrrrrrrre she is.”
My eyes have an extra sparkle to them - they’re brighter and wider. My expression has softened. My hair shoots in all different directions and it just makes sense. My skin feels softer - even if it’s covered in salt or sweat or dirt. I look at my muddy shoes, salty skin, or sweaty shirt all as badges of honor that I get to wear - proof of how deep into nature I adventured. I am back at my center of gravity. These precious moments with ourselves are too sweet to not kiss in the face.
I’ve been interested in collecting data on what makes people feel beautiful. I’m not alone in feeling a bit stumped by the question: when do you feel beautiful? It’s easy to name things that I find beautiful: a sunset over a landscape; the way a full moon reflects on the water; the cello; music by Leon Bridges, Maggie Rogers. Furthermore - I think some people become a little bashful - and it’s easy to downplay the question or not answer it directly.
I want to embrace moments of feeling beautiful that have nothing to do with material or performative things - AND! - I want to leave room for unapologetically embracing whatever it is that makes me feel beautiful. One friend responded saying, “When someone takes a photo of me that I love.” I smiled that she was able to say something out loud that most people feel, too, but are too shy to admit - or think it is not okay to admit out loud.
In my workshops I ask people to name 3 desired feelings. From there, you name habits, people, and places that make you feel that way. The purpose is to get reps on noticing what makes us feel certain ways so that we can expand those things- and magnify them in our schedule or our thoughts.
Today - it was so fun to go through my day - collecting data on what makes me feel beautiful. And to ask others this question. (Particularly to ask men what makes them feel beautiful).
Here’s my list:
Forehead kisses
When I’m immersed in something and I catch my partner watching me - and when I look at him he keeps staring but softly smiles with admiration
Writing 30 essays in 30 days makes me feel beautiful! It is pointing my attention to so much meaning and depth
Dancing in the mirror - or smiling at myself in the mirror
Braids
Yoga
Painting
When people call me a goddess // calling other people a goddess
Glitter eyeshadow
Mud on my face
Sometimes I am scared of seeming like I am trying to look beautiful. When I put on a fancy dress or more makeup, I can feel a bit bashful. But - I don’t want to do that; I want to feel free to do what excites me. It makes me wonder if sometimes I hide this desire in mud, paints, and sweat - because those things feel a bit more safe to feel beautiful in. The other night I dressed up for a date night in a dress and high heels that were a bit more than I normally wear - and when I came out to show my partner my outfit, I turned into a shy little kid. I felt SO bashful! Even though I feel so comfortable with my partner, I suddenly felt vulnerable in looking like I am trying - it almost felt like I was exposing myself. I don’t really have answers - and I know there is not one space that I feel beautiful; it can be in the muddy moments AND in the dressing up moments. I actually think my ideal beauty would be combining those two things - like jumping into the ocean with a long, fancy dress. (Wow - yep. That is it.)
But I am curious about expanding just the act of letting myself feel beautiful. And I want to push others to do the same.
So: let’s go on a hunt for things that make us feel beautiful - and to notice how beauty feels in our bodies. For me - I am at peace, content, and expansive; it feels like deep inhales and exhales. It’s those rare moments when I let myself relax into that goddess, queen-like energy. Yummy.
Thanks for being here!
See you tomorrow.
Love,
Lucinda
At your last workshop in Seattle, one of the words I wanted to feel was “confident.” Yet I was really struggling to identify what actually makes me feel confident! It’s still a bit of a challenge but this prompt feels easier and will help me figure out the confident part 🙂
Sunbathing makes me feel beautiful 🌞